Gossip Girl Gallery
Rich, beautiful, young and unrealistic… Gossip Girl is supposed to be about real teens living in the real Upper East Side with real problems and even realer wardrobes, but we’re not buying into any of that. Here are our top picks of things that happened on Gossip Girl that normally would never occur in the real New York.
Below The Unfluence
Strolling through Central Park, beautiful and invincible Nate was yearning for a high, so instead of going back home, he decided to smoke some pot right then and there… in broad daylight… with children insight! There are so many reasons why this is all shades of wrong that we don’t even have enough space to list them all.
Big Up To Brooklyn, kinda.
The Humphrey’s are the only family on Gossip Girl who live outside of Manhattan in Brooklyn (such hoodlums, those Humphrey’s are). This borough has always been misrepresented, and GG is no exception to it. The family has been said to live in Williamsburg, but whenever there is an exterior shot, the Brooklyn Bridge is always in the frame. Those brave souls who live, or have gotten lost, in Brooklyn know that there is no way this is geographically possible.
Papa, Can You Hear Me?
After Chuck stripped Blair of her chastity belt (or in this case, Chanel dress), Blair runs off to a Catholic priest to confess, even though she is not even Catholic (who does that?). If she wanted to come clean and get advice so desperately, why didn’t she just book an appointment to a shrink? There are about twenty just on her block alone and we’re pretty sure her mom goes to half of them.
Boy on Girl, Interrupted
While Dan and Serena are getting hot and heavy in his “Williamsburg” pad, Vanessa decides to pop-in and say hello through the fire escape. Wait, is this an old episode of Clarissa Explains It All? Why doesn’t she just use the door like every other New Yorker whose motive isn’t to rob you?
A Love Letter… Literally.
Allison’s mysterious lover decides that he wants to meet with her, but we guess he wasn’t in much of a hurry to do so, because he wrote this request in a letter that he mailed to her. No, not e-mail, text or instant message, but mail — as in the thing that you use stamps for, as in the thing that normal teenagers are not too familiar with.
Even Mapquest Can’t Find It
The teens go to an uppity-private high school called St. Jude’s/Constance Billard in the Upper East Side, which according to the show, is located on 719 East 82nd Street, but according to our inner-GPS, that address not only doesn’t exist, but if it did, it would be located somewhere by the East River (if not at the bottom of it floating face down).
Parental Advisory Gone Awry
When the elite crew of teens close down a club for one of their parties, no one seems to mind the fact that the party animals are underage sans adult supervision. Between Nate publicly smoking weed and a bunch of underage lushes downing bottles of vodka without the clubs’ care, we’re beginning to wonder if laws and regulations exist on the Upper East Side.
Chuck Those Clothes Into The Trash
Chuck is a bad boy with a constant need to have sex (at all times), but he is also an awful dresser who would probably never be caught dead in those ’70s-inspired turtlenecks and scarves that he wears at all times if he was a real-life playboy. Not to mention, his basketball get-up (fully equipped with tacky crowns printed all over the cap-sleeved top) puts Sporty Spice to damn near shame.
Party like it’s 1959, ya’ll!
For us, high school was a time of braces, acne, frizzy hair, terrible clothes and on occasion a whiff of bad B.O., but on Gossip Girl, high school is all about extravagant parties. From a masquerade ball to some sort of classy brunch, these pitch-perfect teens party like old-school debutantes living in a retirement home.
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